Tuesday, October 3, 2017

Who or What, Are You Falling in Love With

After so many years observing people (and myself!) in the complicated game of love, I can say this: often times, you don’t fall in love with a person. You fall in love with something else.

Most often, people fall in love with their own imagination of the perfect man/woman. You meet somebody, you barely know him/her, and then you start imposing your own ideals of a soulmate onto the person. Problem begins when the illusion starts to shatter, and you start to see ‘the real him/her’. And tragically, you accuse the person of ‘having changed’ – although it was your own eyes which finally opened.

Often times, people fall in love not with a person, but a “way out”. You are feeling lonely, you just don’t want to be alone and miserable, and you see this person as a ‘solution’. Then, you are falling in love with the solution to your problem, not with a person.

Some people fall in love with “agenda”. You have made plans for your life: when to find a partner, when to get married, when to have children, etc. And then you see this person as the fulfilment of your life’s “Outlook calendar”. Again, you are falling in love with your life schedule, not with a person.

Some others fall in love with “therapy”. You were broken inside, you have mental scars, you have childhood trauma. And then you find this person whom you think can cure you. Then, you are falling in love with the therapy for your own soul illness, not with a person.

And few lucky ones, find that one person, see his/her true soul, and fall in love. Few lucky ones, fall in love, with a person.

Dedicated to my dearest brother.

Thursday, June 15, 2017

Ifhtar di Bulan Ramadhan

Ga terasa ternyata sudah dua tahun berjalan setelah post terkahir saya di blog ini dan bertepatan di bulan Ramadhan. Ga tau kerasukan malaikat apa, sore ini tiba2 keinginan menulis muncul kembali. Dan kali ini ingin membahas tentang ifthar atau berbuka puasa.

Some said,  
"Wid, kamu sombong banget sih ga ikutan buka bareng."
 Or,
"Ga usah sok sibuk, kamu loh jomblo, kaya ada aja yang nemenin buka."
Etc.

Berbuka puasa memang menjadi ajang silaturahim. Bagi yang buka bareng dibiayai perusahaan atau instansi tempat berkerja, bukber/ bubar bisa jadi kendaraan untuk mencoba restoran oke, yang ibaratnya sehari2nya kita kepikiran aja engga pernah untuk makan disana, well, because of the damage cost. Ha-ha-ha.

Back in 2010, where it all begins. Saya berada ditengah perjalanan untuk kembali ke Bandung dari Subang. Waktu berbuka sudah dekat, belum ada masjid terlihat, dan ban motor bocor. Dahaga dengan bahagia menggelayut di kerongkongan. Pelik, saya pikir saya akan mati.

Sampai akhirnya ketemu warung kecil ditengah perjalanan, alhamdulillah, hamparan kebun teh pun sudah ga terlihat hijaunya karena memang sudah senja.